i’m sorry that i’ve been so lazy about it. it’s partially because i’m such a terrible writer that i’m shocked anyone wants to read what i’m writing (although i’m so grateful to whoever does ♥). the other part of it is that for the past 2 weeks i’ve been working 45+ hours between my two jobs. anthropologie hired on a bunch of people when everyone left for school last summer, and unfortunately they didn’t let anyone go so they have too many people employed and no one is getting hours except for managers. i interviewed for ‘the shop’ at equinox. i showed up 15 minutes late because i got the location wrong, came straight from a 9 hour shift so i looked like a tired hot mess and honestly i don’t know how but i got the call for a follow up interview though and they told me on spot that i got it. it’s very small with a lot of high end clothing (workout and non). when i work there i’m by myself and it’s a 7 hour shift m-f. i make $10/hour plus 3%commission, i have a quota, and i’ve been told that the best way to reach it is to make connections with trainers, staff and customers. my job is essentially girl/guy flirting which fortunately i’m very very good at. one trainer is giving me a free personal training sesh (normally $150), another gave me pre workout (ugh so romantic ugh) and asked me out to the bars and i have a creepy 50 year old come into the shop every night to chat me up. and i’ve only been here a week.on the plus side though almost everyone who works there is awesome. my manager spent the greater part of one day convincing me to go to burning man and talking about music fests. the other brings in a crossword that we’ll do during our shift and him and i miraculously have the same sense of humor/level of nerdiness. i don’t have a manager breathing down my neck, the foods yummy, i get a free membership and yoga classes and it’s a manageable space which is so unlike anthro. i genuinely look forward to my shifts :)

they’re late unfortunately though, the only foreseeable downside. i’ve been waking up at 8am every day for crossfit. i feel like i’m not getting in as effective of a workout because i’m not awake… but i’m definitely starting to see results. my ab lines are back, theres actually some muscles in my arms, dave even said that my thighs were losing their pooches (the fat on the inner thigh.. my downfall). eating paleo is getting easier and it’s giving me a ton of energy and good vibes as well. i’m going to yoga every morning as well. i’m starting to feel strong and able again and it’s honestly incredible and so rewarding. i finished first out of all the women in my box for the workout on friday (and it was a long one). i like feeling proud of my body again :)

the only thing my body is truly incapable of is sleep. my thoughts run wild when i’m home and alone in my bed. i hate sleeping alone more than anything  and as cliche as it is my demons keep me up at night. i’m topping out at about 3 hours of sleep. i read and find new music and paint and draw, but the only cures are smoking and having someone there. this weekend i went down to visit dave in philly and it was honest perfection. i wish that’s how i could spend every day of my summer and i wish that’s how i could go to sleep at night, with his arms around me telling me that he loves me and that i’m going to be alright. i’m a handfull, i know i am. and he still loves me even though he knows everything. i feel so lucky and so in love. when i came down straight from work he had a table set up by his pool with candles and flowers and my favorite dinner that he spent his night cooking. he’s not a real person and i don’t think i could be happier with him.

it’s just so nice being with him when we’re away from school and all of the stress that it brings. this summer will be great regardless though. my family is fully adopting paleo (my mama made me paleo cookies and my dad makes sure to make something for me at dinner every night). they’re honestly such amazing people and they’ve been in love for 40 years. they don’t drink, they just garden and work and golf and they’re still so happy. it’s just nice to be around, i don’t think i appreciated their love for each other and for our family as much as i should have growing up. 

anyways, firefly is next week loves! expect lots of pictures. i’m currently making flower crowns up the wazzoo. i’m so so so excited i love playing hippie :) foster the people, delta rae, ellie goulding, the lumineers, dispatch and krewella are probably the ones at the top of my list. i’ll post pictures once i have outfits set. 

thank you all for following me or reading this or whatever. i love you all, sappy kerry out xx